Deciding to quit my job as a Flight Attendant was one of the most difficult decisions I made in a long time. Today, I turned in my resignation to my job. At first I thought that I would be able to manage being a mom, flight attendant and Law school. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it would exhaust me. And if I'm exhausted then I'm no good to anyone.
Something had to give. Being a flight attendant has been the most rewarding career that I've ever had. From the money down to the free flight benefits for my family and I. After speaking with my therapist yesterday, I realized my true feelings about why I was trying to hold on to this career. It wasn't only because I love it but the main reason is because I feel like I lack value without it.
Let me explain...
Being a Flight attendant has been part of my identity for the past 5 and a half years! I feel proud to say that I'm a Flight attendant and it's quite scary that I will no longer be able to say that. Also, it made me feel valuable to family and friends who could benefit from my free flight privileges. Without it, I feel powerless in a way. What if these people won't view me as the "it girl" anymore. No one will ask me for flight advice anymore. What if my other flight attendant friends no longer talk to me anymore. After all, I'm no longer a "crew member." Remember the cool kids who always sat together in the lunch room? Yea, well I'm no longer invited to that table. Basically, I'm no longer needed. I know this sounds crazy but for the last weeks, I've been feeling this way and suffering a little depression because of it. Crying every single night and losing sleep. Although, going to law school is definitely a huge accomplishment and major career change, I feel as though a part of me is dying. A huge part of me! I'm no longer the "cool cousin" "the flight attendant friend" "The flight attendant neighbor" etc... Being a flight attendant is almost as cool as being a police officer, pilot, doctor or lawyer. Giving that identity up is terrifying for me.
I understand that it's time to move on but I'm having a lot of trouble doing it. This isn't something that I feel comfortable speaking about on YouTube or even to family and friends but I feel comfortable to write about it. On a positive note, I am taking it one day at a time and preparing for Law school. Orientation should be coming up soon so I will do my best to lift my spirits and go into this new chapter with my head held high!! I'm 30years old and will be a lawyer in a few years!
Thank you all for reading my short blog! See you soon!